Things are different than they were three months ago.
We still have the same apartment, same furniture, clothes, books, dishes. We still shop at Aldi and Target. We haven’t been to the same church more than three times. He still teaches the same class, I still have the same clients. We still have the same number of friends.
But things are very different.
I’m sure I could attribute this intangible change to many things – and I’m not sure if I would ever pinpoint it.
We’ll just say it’s a change of heart.
And a change of perspective.
Three months ago I would have given anything for a new job in Columbus, a church home, and friends.
It’s November, and I’ve been turned down after every interview, and never heard anything from dozens of other applications. We still don’t really have a church home, and I count the number of friends we have on one hand.
So why am I so much happier?
I’d prayed for gratitude when I felt ungrateful – I’d asked for joy when I felt hopeless and alone. And now, He’s working in my heart. Joy’s Well was there all along – I just didn’t want to drink from it.
I wanted to change my circumstances, but all I really needed was a change of heart.
Working from home has turned into one of the greatest blessings for me personally, and for our marriage. How many people (working full time) get to sleep in and spend lazy mornings working alongside their new spouse? Who has the flexibility to spend mornings at the DMV or take a 5-hour break on a sunny afternoon to go buy a bike and explore the trails by your house?
Who gets to work from home (full time!), enjoy what they do, and still get salary and benefits in a career?
I’d taken it for granted and completely missed how working from home was benefiting our marriage. We had just spent 14 months in a long-distance relationship and being able to spend hours working alongside each other is such a luxury that we couldn’t have planned better.
While I’m still hoping for a new job (for the sake of having an office and co-workers around me) and feeling at home in a church by Christmas, I’m choosing to joyfully embrace the circumstances we’ve been given right now.