When You Don’t Feel Like Serving

I’m awake at 6:19 and I’m not sure why.

It’s still dark outside, but I can hear Lizzy getting ready down the hall to go teach.

Turning over, I try to go back to sleep.

Nope, my mind says. You’re wide awake now. Get up.

An hour later, I’m sitting on my bedroom floor in a yoga pose, trying to stretch my tired, tight muscles. 1000 Gifts is open on my lap, and I’m reading the words slow.

“I can bless, pour out, be broken and given in the larger world and never fear that there won’t be enough to give…. He calls us to serve, but He, very God, kneels down to serve us as we serve.”

How many times have I looked at my calendar and said, I just can’t add one more thing. I have enough. I’m serving enough. Don’t ask me to commit to anything elseI don’t have any more to give.

“God extravagantly pays back everything we give away and exactly in the currency that is not of this world, but of the one we yearn for: joy in Him.”

Isn’t it the truth? How every Tuesday night I’m a few minutes late to ESL because I really don’t feel like giving up my time to go? Even so, God gives me what I need: joy and satisfaction in serving my students. And more than joy! Happiness! I love doing it.

How every time I agree to host something, make a meal for someone, give up my weekend, or even just a few hours… I’m loathe to do it beforehand, but after it’s done, I’m glad because I know it was good and it served others.

If God doesn’t fail me when I’m being selfish, how could I ever doubt that he would fail me when I’m doing what He calls us to do? He never fails, and the joy he gives us is amazing. I wouldn’t trade it.

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